Whether you’re single, married, or in a relationship, it won’t have escaped your notice that today is Valentine’s Day, and what better time is there to reflect on some of soap’s most memorable romances?
If you’re expecting a list of the most romantic, well-suited couples in soap history, then we’re afraid you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.
Instead, we’re looking at the soap romances that are engrained in our memories for all the wrong reasons!
While most of the time we’re rooting for our favourite couples to go the distance, occasionally our favourite soaps throw a pairing into the mix that is… Questionable, to say the least.
Sometimes, soaps surprise us with couples we never expected to work, but there are times when these outlandish choices don’t quite pay off, and we spend the rest of the year trying to forget they ever happened.
Unfortunately for you, we’re here to remind you of the very worst romances soap has to offer – so grab a stiff drink and get ready to cringe!
Nat and Georgia Simpson – Brookside
Starting off strong, there’s is nothing that makes you want to shudder more than literal incest.
Back in 1996, Brookside caused outrage among viewers when they embarked on a storyline which saw brother and sister Nat and Georgia Simpson get way too close for comfort.
Despite knowing they were blood related, Nat and Georgia chose to act on their romantic feelings for each other, and were eventually even caught in bed together. Grim.
It didn’t take long for producers to realise that they’d gone too far with this storyline, and shortly after the family was axed altogether.
Maisie Wylde and Ryan Lamb – Emmerdale
Now, Maisie Wylde and Ryan Lamb have a little bit more of an excuse, given that they didn’t know they were brother and sister.
That’s right folks, we have more incest on our hands.
Thankfully, Maisie (great name, by the way) didn’t go as far as sleeping with Ryan due to the fact that he had a girlfriend, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t already fallen in love with each other by the time they discovered they were biological siblings.
When Maisie and Ryan learnt that their father had two families, they were horrified, and the whole situation led to Maisie suffering a nervous breakdown.
Viv Hope and Paddy Kirk – Emmerdale
Sticking with Emmerdale, we need to acknowledge that (thankfully) distant memory that was Viv Hope’s affair with Paddy Kirk (Dominic Brunt).
Their sheer misplaced giddiness for each other and that post office sex scene was enough to leave us reaching for a stiff drink – not to mention how much their antics hurt poor Emily.
Fortunately, things came to an abrupt end after Emily announced their betrayal in the Woolpack, in front of an enchanted audience of locals.
Bob Hope and Laurel Thomas – Emmerdale
If you successfully made it through this storyline without physically shuddering with the cringiness of it all, then, honestly, we applaud you.
Now, don’t get us wrong. We love Bob (Tony Audenshaw). We love Laurel (Charlotte Bellamy). But together? Huge no from us.
Why were all of their kisses so slow? Why did they whisper so close to each other’s faces? Why did anyone think this was a good idea???
Andy Sugden and Bernice Blackstock – Emmerdale
Andy and Bernice’s affair was a truly wild experience, and honestly, we weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
While their actual affair wasn’t horrendously cringy, it was Bernice’s attitude after it was all over that landed them on this list.
You may remember how Bernice grew so jealous of Katie Sugden that she attacked her with a bunch of sausages for stealing her man.
Not to mention pouring pasta over her head, or turning up to the church on the day of the wedding in Katie’s dress.
And, of course, EATING THE ENGAGEMENT RING.
Bernice, you will always be iconic.
Jacob Gallagher and Victoria Sugden – Emmerdale
We thought we were imagining things when Jacob Gallagher (Joe-Warren Plant) and Victoria Sugden (Isabel Hodgins) got together, but alas, that really happened.
‘What was wrong with their relationship?’ I hear you cry.
She was nearly his step-mum.
In case that needs elaborating on, Victoria previously dated Jacob’s dad David Metcalfe, before dumping him after he blamed her for his speeding ticket.
As she left, she branded him immature and a child, before instead deciding to date *checks notes* his son…
Honey Mitchell and Jay Brown – EastEnders
In another case of not-technically-wrong-but-something-definitely-doesn’t-feel-right-about-this, we have Honey Mitchell (Emma Barton) and Jay Brown (Jamie Borthwick).
Billy Mitchell (Perry Fenwick) brought Jay up from a young age and became a father figure in his life, and for a lot of that time, Billy was with Honey.
So imagine our shock when Honey and Jay start dating. It just felt so wrong!
Thankfully, things between them didn’t last too long, and peace was rightfully restored when Honey and Billy got back together.
Max Branning and Lucy Beale – EastEnders
We all remember the iconic Who Killed Lucy Beale? storyline, but most of us have tried our best to forget the scandalous affair that resulted in Max Branning being framed for the crime.
Not only was Max much older than Lucy, but he was also her best friend’s dad. That’s never not an icky situation.
Their relationship didn’t last long but did ultimately have a huge impact, though we’re not sure it was worth it for either of them, given how things turned out.
Kat Slater and Derek Branning – EastEnders
Kat Slater (Jessie Wallace) has made some questionable choices when it comes to men over the years, but when we learnt that she was having an affair with a Branning, Derek was the last person we expected her to choose.
Jack was literally right there, Kat!
Things only got more unbearable when Derek promised to help Kat fix her marriage with Alfie Moon (Shane Richie), only to deliberately sabotage it behind her back.
Thankfully, Kat recently found her way back to Alfie, and everything in soap world is right again.
Den Watts and Michelle Fowler – EastEnders
We can’t not mention the fling that earnt Den Watts the nickname ‘Dirty Den’ now, can we?
One of EastEnders’ most famous storylines from 1985 saw Den revealed as the father of 16-year-old Michelle Fowler’s baby, after much speculation from viewers.
This was another case of older man sleeps with daughter’s best friend and left a lot of people horrified.
Den, a notorious cheat and womaniser, would later also have an affair with a much younger Zoe Slater – another cringe inducing scenario.
Ian Beale and… Where do we start? – EastEnders
Ian Beale (Adam Woodyatt) has had some really questionable relationships over the years, so we’ve picked our top three most bizarre.
First up is Ian and Denise Fox (Diane Parish). Kim Fox (Tameka Empson) very kindly reminded us that these two were once engaged at Sharon Watts’ (Letitia Dean) hen do in 2023, and honestly, we’d rather she hadn’t.
Ian and Denise’s first kiss came during a night trapped together in the shop, after Ian had very kindly shown Denise the tattoo on his cheek. Unfortunately, not the cheek on his face.
We need to take a few minutes to recover from that image.
Next, there’s Ian and Jean Slater (Gillian Wright). Yes, that really happened. Fortunately, it was just a one off, and we can all blame it on the alcohol.
Finally, there’s the whole Ian and Janine Butcher thing.
Janine is a master manipulator, so we’re not sure what else Ian expected when he got involved with her than to be blackmailed.
Don’t cheat on your wife Ian, and there won’t be any problems, will there?
Deirdre Barlow and Dev Alahan – Coronation Street
Moving across to Weatherfield now, and who can forget Dev Alahan (Jimmi Harkishin) and Deirdre Barlow’s affair?
A discussion about Deirdre’s exes somehow ended in a lot of open-mouthed kissing, grabbing and heavy breathing, before the two ended up in bed together.
Uncomfortable viewing, to say the least!
Leanne Battersby and Ryan Connor – Coronation Street
As the most recent addition to our list, Leanne Battersby’s (Jane Danson) brief fling with Ryan Connor (Ryan Prescott) is still unfortunately fresh in our minds.
In a totally unexpected twist, Leanne woke up in bed alongside the much younger man who, to his credit, was quite the gentlemen as he offered her breakfast.
For an extra helping of cringe, this story also reminded us of Ryan’s OTT relationship with Tracy Barlow (Kate Ford) in 2012 – something we’d hoped had been lost to history.
Leanne definitely could have done worse, but we’re not sure we want to see a repeat!
Katy Harris and Martin Platt – Coronation Street
Following his failed marriage to Gail Platt (Helen Worth), Martin Platt embarked on a relationship with 16-year-old Katy Harris.
Viewers may remember the controversial relationship, given that Martin was 20 years older than his teenage girlfriend.
Their relationship lasted a surprisingly long time, until Katy’s dad managed to split them up.
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Ethan Williams and Vicky Grant – Hollyoaks
Hollyoaks fans went into meltdown last year when they learned that Ethan Williams (Matthew James-Bailey) and Vicky Grant (Anya Lawrence) were set to embark on a relationship.
The dynamic was strange from the beginning due to the age gap and it left viewers asking why they were even a thing, especially when Sienna Blake (Anna Passey) – Ethan’s former love interest and self-professed one true love – was right there.
The controversial fling didn’t last very long but it did ultimately play a role in Ethan’s demise as the truth about what happened with Vicky led to Sienna claiming his life on their wedding day.
We’re still not over it.
Sienna Blake and Dodger Savage – Hollyoaks
In a full circle moment, let’s finish off where we began: Incest. Sigh.
Sienna and Dodger. Twins. They have a daughter.
Messy. Gross.
While they didn’t know they were related when daughter Nico was conceived, Sienna later developed an obsession with Dodger which he thankfully did not reciprocate, and encouraged her to seek help.
This article was first published on January 16, 2024.
