
The return of our beloved Bridget Jones to screens has raised many important questions about our sex lives.
One of them being: does not having sex for four years mean your vagina is at risk of closing up?
While her friends playfully joke about her dry spell in the film, there are plenty of us in Bridget’s boat IRL. Although many of us nowadays are choosing to have bouts of sexual inactivity.
From the #boysober trend of 2024 to the recent 4B movement, both of which call for women to take time out from sex and dating, it tracks that one in six women aren’t sexually active, and more than 15% admitting they’re single by choice.
In the words of Pamela Jones, we certainly aren’t at it like rabbits.
For Black Gen Z daters this is even more true, with 43% practising celibacy for their ‘personal growth’, according to dating app BLK.

But for the majority of us, there will inevitably come a point where we decide to have sex with someone again, whether it be a one-night stand or the love of our life — and our vagina may not just be ready to go.
Contrary to Bridget’s assertion, it won’t literally close up, but it certainly could be a bit uncomfortable when you’re having penetrative sex for the first time in a year or more.
There’s a name for this too – dyspareunia – the blanket medical term for pain or discomfort during sex.
What is dyspareunia and how common is it?
‘Infrequent sexual activity can lead to vaginal dryness, making penetration more uncomfortable and causing pain,’ Dr Neel Patel explains.
‘This can lead to a condition known as dyspareunia where women can feel pain just before, during, or after sex. It can also be caused by several other conditions, from hormonal changes and menopause, to infections from STIs and UTIs.’
And where you feel that pain also determines what type of dyspareunia it is.
‘Pain felt at the entrance to the vagina is known as superficial dyspareunia, while deep pain within the vagina is known as deep dyspareunia,’ says the GP for LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor.
According to the NHS, the pain you feel from the superficial type is ‘sore and instant’ but it could also feel ‘sharp and burning’. This pain can be quickly relieved by stopping penetration, although you could be sore to the touch for a little while.

Deep dyspareunia, however, refers to pelvic pain which could be ‘sharp or dull’ and is usually felt further inside the vagina when the male partner or sex toy being used is thrusting deeply.
It’s a condition that’s more common than you think, with GP Dr Lawrence Cunningham, for UK Care Guide, noting it affects about 20% of women at some point in their lives.
Dyspareunia doesn’t discriminate either, affecting women of all ages. But younger women who are only just beginning to have sex, and postmenopausal women experiencing hormonal changes are particularly susceptible.
Dyspareunia treatment and prevention
‘Maintaining good genital hygiene, using lubricants, and ensuring adequate arousal before intercourse are some practical steps to preventing dyspareunia,’ Dr Cunningham tells Metro.
While these steps reduce the risk though, there’s no guarantee they’ll work, because of the array of possible causes of your pelvic pain.
The doctor explains that if you’re experiencing sustained deep or superficial pain during sex, you should always seek medical advice to identify what’s making it hurt.
Then you should be able to start treating the condition, which Dr Cunningham says can involve ‘a combination of approaches,’ such as ‘physical therapy, counselling, medications and or hormonal treatments.’
If your thought was just to have more sex, in an attempt to power through and get your body more used to penetration, you wouldn’t be completely off base.
However, although Dr Cunningham says ‘increasing sexual activity can help alleviate dyspareunia,’ he ‘wouldn’t rely on it as a solution.’
Types of treatments available
- If your pain is caused by an infection or STI you may be prescribed antibiotics or antifungal medication.
- If your pain is caused by vaginal dryness you can try using lube (just make sure it’s water-based if you’re using condoms).
- Your pain can also be eased in some cases by using a dilator or a trainer, a contraption you insert into your vagina that gradually increases in size to help relax your pelvic muscles.
- Desensitisation therapy involves learning vaginal relaxation exercises that can decrease pain. Your therapist may recommend pelvic floor exercises to decrease pain with intercourse.
- Cognitive behavioural therapy can also be helpful in changing negative thought patterns and behaviours.
- Mindfulness involves training the mind to focus on what is happening in the moment, rather than making judgements or focusing on distractions that interfere with attention to sexual sensations.
- For deep dyspareunia, the cowgirl sex position can give you more control over penetration which may help with the pain.
Source: NHS
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