‘Who are you?’
This is the question my three-year-old daughter asked me recently while I was on the phone to her. Words cannot express how painful this is to hear as a father.
She didn’t recognise me because we have been separated since August 2021 after I was evacuated to the UK from Afghanistan. My wife and two children – with my youngest daughter, a newborn at the time – couldn’t come with me so they fled to Pakistan.
I thought we’d be reunited swiftly, but it’s now been three and a half years since I was separated from them.
To make matters worse, my family is now facing the risk of deportation back to Afghanistan after the Pakistan Government set a March 31 deadline for Afghans to leave.
Looking back on my life, it’s very painful for me to dwell on my memories of Afghanistan.
For years, I assisted British authorities on the ground in Kabul. I married my wife in 2019 and we had two beautiful children – a boy and a girl.
Then the Taliban came into power in August 2021, which turned our world upside down. Straight away, I knew I had to flee the country because the Taliban threatened to kill anyone who aided the West.
In the chaos and fear of that time, there were armed men and unstable situations in the streets. So I contacted the British authorities I’d worked with, who encouraged me to go to Kabul airport to flee the country.
I brought my wife and children with me but people were getting crushed in the chaos and the authorities wouldn’t let my family in with me. So I decided to go through alone and try to talk to someone on the other end to help me bring them in.
Once through, I was told that I couldn’t go back outside because it was unsafe. So I waited inside the airport for two days to see what could be done, but then I was told things were escalating too much and if I wanted to leave, I would have to make a decision to go alone or stay.
We ended up coming up with a desperate last minute plan for my wife and children to flee to a neighboring country, while I would go to the UK and fight to bring them with me. I honestly didn’t think it would take very long at all.
As I flew out of my home country, I felt terrified about what would happen to all of us.
After landing in London, the Home Office placed me in a hotel in the capital for a few weeks before they moved me to a different one in Oxfordshire. Thankfully, I was resettled under a scheme called the Afghan Citizens Resettlement Scheme Pathway 1 (ACRS P-1), meaning that accommodation, food, and laundry services are provided.
Initially, I was also on a monthly universal credit payment of £320, but that stopped when I started working part-time in a supermarket warehouse on a zero-hour contract in February 2022.
I don’t spend much of this money on myself though. I’d say that I send around 80% of my earnings to my wife and two children so that they can afford food, clothing, rent, and essentials.
At the same time, the British Council and Department for Education offered study scholarships, so I started a Masters in Construction Management at the University of Portsmouth.
Throughout it all, I’ve missed my family very much. But over three years on from first coming to the UK, I’m still not reunited with them.
That’s not to say that I haven’t fought very hard for it to happen. I was told by various government officials that – in order to bring my wife and two children to the UK – I had to earn a certain amount and secure proper accommodation first.
But this felt impossible, so I started speaking up about my story with help from the charity Asylum Welcome. Thankfully, in July last year, the Government opened up a family reunion route for ACRS P-1 evacuees.
Within a few weeks, I submitted my application to the Home Office – but I’m still waiting for a decision to this day.
I have contacted them several times – even after the recent news that my family faces the risk of deportation from Pakistan to Afghanistan, where they would be in grave danger – but they always say the same thing: I have to wait.
As a result, I feel stuck and depressed. I usually can’t eat because I’m so stressed or I can’t sleep for more than five hours because I wake up tossing and turning from nightmares.
It’s really frustrating to feel so helpless. Sometimes I ask myself what I’m doing here when my family is so far away.
The hardest part is trying to explain what’s going on to my wife and children – and increasingly their risk of deportation and feeling like a stranger to them.
Thankfully, there’s at least some hope.
I know that my local MP, Olly Glover, has repeatedly contacted the Home Office on my behalf and I have heard from the Home Office this week to say that a case worker has been assigned to my case.
But with Pakistan’s recent directive to deport Afghan nationals by March 31, my family is under serious threat of being forcibly returned to Afghanistan.
The Pakistani authorities are asking for proof that a resettlement application for my family is under active consideration by the UK government. Without this, they risk deportation.
At the very least, I want to know if the Home Office could provide an official letter or confirmation that I can send to my wife, stating that her application is being processed. Or for the British Embassy in Pakistan to assist in verifying this to the local authorities to help protect my family from deportation.
I am terrified for my family’s safety and would be deeply grateful for any guidance or urgent assistance the Home Office can offer to help prevent their forced return to Afghanistan.
I want to tell the Home Office that they need to be more serious and expedite our family reunion cases. If my family could come back together, my wife could work and help me try to cover the costs of rent.
It just doesn’t make sense that we’re separated.
Until then, there’s so much uncertainty. What gets me through is the thought of being able to see my wife and children again after so long.
As told to James Besanvalle
A Home Office spokesperson told Metro: ‘This government is working to process referrals made under the Separated Families Pathway of the Afghan Citizens Resettlement Scheme. All referrals are processed as quickly as possible once all necessary information has been provided. As a result, arrivals have already begun, and families are being reunited.’
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