Carly keeps a watchful eye out the window of Babyshed’s headquarters in Stevenage, Hertfordshire.
With items like nappies, formula milk and baby wipes available, the charity has become a lifeline to mums in the area. Reaching out for help for the first time can feel daunting, however.
‘We want people to come in and not feel judged,’ Carly, Babyshed’s coordinator, tells Metro. ‘There was one lady who sat in the car for half an hour crying her eyes out because she was so embarrassed to come in. People shouldn’t feel scared to ask for help.
‘Sometimes you see people literally shaking as they come in, they never thought they would be in this position. It can be very unexpected, like when a woman has a baby then her husband leaves. Nursery costs are so high which means they might not be able to go back to work, or they might not feel ready to.’
When Metro visits Babyshed on a crisp, cold day, there’s a steady stream of new mums passing through. They gather around a play mat as their babies gurgle and giggle. The temperatures are due to drop this weekend, so there’s a selection of winter jackets on display alongside more usual items like baby food and nappies.
‘I came into the country from Nigeria as a student with my husband,’ one mum, who prefers to stay anonymous, tells Metro. The 31-year-old has a six-month-old boy and lives in the town centre of Stevenage. ‘When I gave birth I was still studying so my finances weren’t okay. We had to pay bills, school fees, payments – it was a lot. As the baby grew, it became hard to afford new clothes.
‘I went to Bedfordshire Foodbank to get some things and the staff there told me about Babyshed, it was much closer to me. My first time here, I remember I stood outside and felt really scared about how they might treat me. But then I came in and knew I didn’t need to be scared. I was treated with love. They are so supportive. I’ve got things like nappies, wipes and toiletries here. Sometimes I forget to ask for things and they go “oh, do you need this as well?”’
‘This is my fourth time here,’ another mum, 31, explains as her eight-month-old plays nearby. ‘It has been a lifesaver. Whenever I need anything I think “Babyshed.” Without it, I would find a way to survive, but it would be very difficult.’
Babyshed was launched following the Covid-19 pandemic by Stevenage Vineyard Church to support families in need. The charity has gone on to become vital for nearby refugees housed in a local hotel, with volunteers making a dedicated trip each week to offer support.
Carly heads through a set of doors to a vast warehouse where donations are stored. Shelves of nappies stretch down the room, new prams are illuminated by the winter sun and boxes of baby food are neatly labelled. There’s also drawers for more specific items, like breast pads, nappy cream and cotton wool. Carly wants to give mums as much autonomy as possible.
She continues: ‘Just because someone is in a certain section of their life, it shouldn’t mean they lose the ability to choose. I think things like, does this mum like Disney? Would she prefer frilly outfits? Will this family be outdoors a lot? The same baby clothes don’t suit everyone. We also don’t mind second hand donations, but we want good quality. I wouldn’t want to give something out which I wouldn’t feel comfortable using for my own kids.’
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In one heartbreaking incident last year, a police officer informed Babybank staff he had been forced to arrest a woman who stole formula milk. He took a leaflet from the charity to give to her. Babyshed – which is backing Metro’s Formula for Change campaign that aims to improve access to essential items like formula – want mums to feel empowered to reach out for help.
‘Everybody is one short step away from poverty,’ Carly adds. ‘If your life circumstances have led that way, it doesn’t make you any less of a human being or a good mum.
‘We want to help facilitate people to be the best parents they can be, we’re non-referral so anybody can come here. Come, see us, have a hot drink, have a chat, have a cry.
‘It might look like we’re just giving someone a pack of nappies, but it’s much more than that. It’s a vehicle for change. Some of the mums we support actually come back and give us donations once they’re back on their feet. It’s always really special to see that. If you throw a stone, it causes ripples. We want ripples of kindness to spread as far as they can.’
There are ten volunteers at Babyshed and extra support from the local community vital. Bags of sweets have been delivered from Tesco this morning while staff from GSK, a pharmaceutical company in Stevenage, recently visited the charity to paint the walls.
Babyshed has also received several vouchers from a local trampoline park, which means parents they support will be able to treat their child to a special day out they might not otherwise have been able to afford.
When Ann arrived for her first volunteering shift at her local baby bank, she could never foresee just how much of an impact she would have. The mum-of-three had previously helped with a foodbank run by Stevenage Vineyard Church, where she had been pastor.
‘Some people just want someone to talk to,’ Ann tells Metro. ‘They might not have their own support system or a mum of their own to help. I remember one woman walked in through that door and just burst into tears, it turned out she was pregnant and her husband had just left her.
‘One day she said, “I thought I could do this by myself, but I can’t. I know this is a really big ask, but would you be with me at the birth?” Of course I said yes. I cut the baby’s cord and cuddled him, it was absolutely wonderful.
‘His mum still tells me “when he hears your voice he looks for you in the room.” She doesn’t come back here a huge amount, because she’s back on her feet now with a new job and a council house.’
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