Whenever I had a bad day, I dreaded trudging home, up a hill, in the dark.
Then I’d remember my daughter, Bethany, was waiting for me and I’d think ‘everything’s not so bad’. I couldn’t wait to see her beaming smile and hear her laugh.
She had this lovely way about her. I worshipped the ground she walked on. She was my world.
There are barely words to describe the unimaginable grief I live with now.
In 2019, my daughter Bethany Rae Fields was brutally killed by her ex-partner, Paul Crowther, after being repeatedly failed by the services meant to protect her.
She was only 21.
My beautiful girl who, aged six, would cover my eyes whenever a cartoon got a bit too scary; who wrote me postcards from university; who befriended a snow goose with a bad leg because it couldn’t fly.
I was in awe of her talents and gifts, her intelligence and sense of humour.
Now, powered by my sorrow and rage of the injustices Bethany faced, I am determined to make change in her memory. I want to do her proud.
I’m asking the police to do three simple things when a woman comes to them to report abuse and threats made to their life: Remember Bethany’s initials and Believe-React-Fast.
This Is Not Right
On November 25, 2024 Metro launched This Is Not Right, a year-long campaign to address the relentless epidemic of violence against women.
With the help of our partners at Women’s Aid, This Is Not Right aims to shine a light on the sheer scale of this national emergency.
You can find more articles here, and if you want to share your story with us, you can send us an email at [email protected].
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Bethany and I were thick as thieves and we’d walk around with our arms linked, just so happy in each other’s company.
Even as a young girl, she was always smiling. She got a genuine buzz out of making other people happy, and I remember one parents’ evening when her teacher told me that she was the little peacemaker. She’d always step in when other girls were having fights and sorted them.
And I couldn’t have been more proud when she got into York University to study environmental geography, working towards her dream of going to Iceland to study volcanoes and help fight climate change. I truly believe she would have achieved her dreams, too. Her professor told me she was the most enthusiastic student they’d had.
The only area of her life where Bethany didn’t seem to be thriving was in her relationship.
Paul Crowther had known Bethany since she was 14 years old, after regularly visiting the music studio where Bethany’s father worked.
I still can’t believe that someone could be so evil, so monstrous, so predatory, as to take the life of someone they’d known as a child.
They started dating in 2017, when Bethany was 19 and he was 33. Of course, I was incredibly wary of the age gap.
On meeting him – and later visiting their flat – my unease grew; it became clear he wasn’t good with money and Bethany, so much his junior, seemed to be carrying him.
I didn’t want to say too much for fear of driving her further towards him. Instead, I reminded myself that Bethany was young; I was sure their relationship would run its course.
I did ask her once, ‘You do know he isn’t right for you?’, and Bethany nodded; little did I know that she was struggling.
I learned after her death that she went to Women’s Aid quite early on in their relationship, and she had called him controlling, abusive and manipulative.
I was beside myself when I found out; I wondered why she hadn’t come to me. Then I remembered she was a protector; the child covering my eyes from scary cartoons. She’d always been so determined to sort problems out herself.
And she did try.
In early 2018, Bethany sought help from Leeds Domestic Violence Service (LDVS) about how to leave her relationship. The next month, she visited a drop-in session and told a worker she was staying with her partner but wanted advice on what to do in an emergency situation.
What to do if you’re experiencing domestic abuse
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone. And whether you are currently coping with or have made the decision to leave, you do have options.
- If you are thinking about leaving, domestic abuse charity Refuge suggests starting a record of abusive incidents, which might include saving pictures or messages, or making notes of times, dates and details of incidents.
- The next step is to make copies of important documents such as court orders, marriage certificates, National Insurance Numbers and your driving licence.
- In the meantime, identify the safer areas of your home so that you know where to go if your abuser becomes aggravated. Ideally, this should be a room with a phone and a door or window to the outside.
- If you feel ready to leave, start by making a plan for a safe, reliable route out. If you feel safe to do so, pack an emergency bag so that you leave in a hurry if needed.
- You can access a local refuge, either with or without children, for as long as you need to stay. The address is confidential. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is open 24-hours a day and has all the details of refuges in your area.
- In an emergency situation, ring 999 and ask for the police. If you aren’t able to talk, try the Silent Solution: after dialling 999, listen to the questions from the operator and respond by coughing or tapping your device, if possible. If prompted, press 55 to let the operator know it’s an emergency – you’ll be put through to the police.
Read more here.
She said that while he hadn’t been violent, he’d threatened to harm Bethany’s friends and family. The LDVS worker was concerned for my daughter’s safety and explained the services available to her.
Yet Bethany being Bethany, the big hearted girl that she was, she wanted to help him.
Aware that Paul had been struggling with a diagnosed personality disorder since 2015, Bethany attended a course for people caring for others with the condition. She confided in the course leader that he also had psychosis and paranoia.
Bethany believed everybody deserved a second chance.
She secured him some volunteering on a farm, which she thought would be good for him. Even when they broke up in June 2019, Bethany continued to look after him. She agreed to his demands, like holding hands in public, and notified the police when he threatened to hurt himself (and others) to make sure he was safe.
Bethany was failed.
What Bethany did next
Bethany told them that she had caring responsibilities for her ex-boyfriend and felt he could behave in an abusive manner, although she did not feel at risk. This was relayed to her GP but not to the police.
When she realised that she and others could be in danger, Bethany went to West Yorkshire Police (WYP), where she was given advice on leaving him and told to phone 101.
Bethany called Derbyshire Police to report threats made against a friend, which were relayed to WYP. On the same day, another friend said Bethany also called WYP about further threats.
Bethany told LDVS that her ex-partner was making threats to her and others and was fixated ‘on the power of killing’. She also said that he’d stabbed someone in the past.
I would later learn from the Domestic Homicide Report conducted after Bethany’s death that her statement was taken by a junior officer not long out of tutorship. The report found ‘their lack of experience and poor supervision failed to identify the real risk that [Paul Crowther] posed Bethany’.
The same report revealed Bethany was concerned about the speed of the police investigation (she chased them for updates, saying she was scared Crowther was looking for her) and told a friend that she worried about being killed.
Bethany’s friend emailed the police about Paul making threats on the back of Bethany’s complaint.
Bethany’s dad reported that Paul threatened and followed him. This did not progress.
Another friend of Bethany’s, who had received death threats, complained to the police; the log was closed in error – another complaint that never progressed.
On top of all that, Paul, himself, was known to mental health services and the police.
During a period of 1997 to 2019, he was detained nine times under the Mental Health Act.
He received a juvenile caution for criminal damage, a domestic abuse warning letter from West Yorkshire Police after harassing a previous partner, and was accused by a police community support officer (PCSO) of stabbing him during a fight.
When a second ex-partner reported Crowther for sending unwanted messages, an assessment report found him to be medium risk, and he received a harassment notice from the police. When reported again, Crowther was convicted for harassment
In early 2018, he went to the emergency department accompanied by the police over concerns about his aggression and desire to kill someone. He admitted to his GP that he was not taking the medication properly, resulting in heightened paranoia.
The opportunities to stop him
When they broke up, Paul told his mental health providers that he wanted to take revenge against Bethany but knew he shouldn’t.
He was not detained.
Paul told his mental health team he’d made threats to Bethany’s friend, assuring them he wouldn’t actually act – he was not detained.
He went to the police station and said he was going to ‘smash a male’s head in’. Still, he was not detained. A mental health nurse said they had ‘no concerns’. I believe Crowther was emboldened by the lack of punishment he faced.
Paul actually reported Bethany for assault. She was tiny, 21 to his 35 years. I find it despicable. Staffing issues meant that this ‘complaint’ progressed slowly.
He had the nerve to chase his complaint against Bethany. He did it again four days later.
He was invited in to make a statement against her.
The police could have arrested Paul Crowther for all the threats he’d made, while he was in the station that day. Instead, they listened to him as he made out that my Bethany was the perpetrator. I will never forgive them.
That same day, he killed my daughter.
In the street, while she was helping to organise a charity event for people with disabilities.
The moment the police told me was the most horrendous, heart-rending of my life. I knew in my gut that Paul Crowther was responsible. When they confirmed it, the first thing I said was: ‘She came to you for help’.
In that instant, the person I was, died. I will never be that person again.
I couldn’t wrap my head around her not being alive anymore. That she didn’t survive her injuries. That I could never be with her again.
I ran out of the room and collapsed on the floor.
I wished it could have been me; I would have happily died in my daughter’s place so that she could have achieved everything she dreamed of doing.
I will never be able to understand how my daughter was failed so badly.
Two ex girlfriends had reported him to the police for harassment – with one resulting in conviction; he’d previously been accused of stabbing a PCSO; he’d been detained nine times under the Mental Health Act; he’d told professionals he wanted to kill someone, and that he had been thinking about vengeance; they knew he wasn’t on his proper medication; Bethany and four other people in her life had reported him to police for threats either to them or my daughter.
West Yorkshire Police say they’ve apologised to us but it will never be enough. They need to admit publicly that they failed Bethany.
My mind boggles at the incompetence of people, especially those who have the brass neck to call themselves professionals, and I refuse to pussyfoot around and stay quiet when urgent change needs to be made.
The man who killed my daughter pleaded guilty to manslaughter, claiming he didn’t remember killing Bethany and was in ‘an altered state of awareness’. He got a life sentence with a minimum of 12 years on the grounds of ‘diminished responsibility’.
Even though the judge said that Paul Crowther ‘knew perfectly well what [he was] doing’, he still got a paltry sentence.
He could be out in seven years. He’d be 48 then, fully capable of doing this again to someone else.
He is an evil, evil person and I would implore the justice system to make sure this man is not let out. Throw away the key and pretend he never existed.
Learn more about Killed Women
Killed Women is an organisation and network for the bereaved families of women who were killed by men, and they’re campaigning for change.
Killed Women want to change the perception that these deaths and injustices are unavoidable tragedies to be expected and accepted. They’re campaigning to:
- Help protect more women from these most extreme forms of violence
- Get justice for those who have lost their lives at the hands of men
- Improve the support and rights of the bereaved families left behind, especially for children
If you are a bereaved relative of a woman who has been killed by a man, you can reach out to Killed Women on [email protected]. To find out more about the organisation, click here.
Nobody, nobody, deserves this man to come into their life. It’s why I say his name; I want anyone who comes across him in the future to know exactly what he did to Bethany; what he’s capable of.
But I also want Bethany’s name to be known far and wide. While there’s breath in my body I will tell her story and campaign for her. A campaign that is worthy of her memory.
I spoke to other parents whose children had been taken from them and a common denominator was that they weren’t believed or listened to.
Like Bethany, they were intelligent, articulate women, with witnesses and evidence, and I just kept thinking: ‘If they didn’t take Bethany seriously, what chance do other women have?’.
Other women who may feel wary of interacting with police; who may not speak English as a first language; who mumble when they speak; who are vulnerable due to addiction.
It came to me: Believe-React-Fast.
My message to police is: Believe victims. Do everything in your power to keep them safe. Do it quickly.
The worst scenario in this case would be that it was a waste of time; the worst scenario, if BRF isn’t implemented, is that another woman is killed.
When there’s a bomb threat, you don’t wait to see if it’s true, only to find out it’s a hoax. You put the area on lockdown and then breathe a sigh of relief when it doesn’t come to pass.
When someone is drowning and the lifeboat service is called, they don’t just think, ‘oh, we’ll finish this cup of tea, lads and get to it in a minute’, they know speed is crucial. Why don’t the police seem to?
They should have put Bethany in front of a senior officer, who should have believed her. They should have looked up Paul Crowther and detained him after reading his history. They should have got Bethany somewhere safe.
For now, all I can put police’s failure to act down to is systemic misogyny; a culture of not believing women. It’s present in the way the burden of proof is put on a woman to show that she is a victim; to collate and catalogue the evidence against her abuser.
I need confirmation now that things are going to be different and that attitudes are going to change. I would also like to see widespread training – in workplaces, hospitals, care homes, schools – anywhere where vulnerable people might report abuse.
Telling Bethany’s story is extremely hard but I am determined to make her proud.
She was a loving, caring, protective person who wanted to help everybody. I want her initials to go on to save many, many, people’s lives in the future.
If she had received the support she needed, Bethany would be 27 now.
What keeps me going is the hope that there is something to the afterlife; that our spirits do live on and we will meet again. I have to believe it.
Bethany didn’t come into this world – to be so clever, gifted and wonderful – only to have her life be ripped away.
I know she is here, still with me. And I’m determined to make her proud.
In response to request for comment, Chief Superintendent Jim Griffiths of Kirklees Police said:
‘We have met with Bethany’s parents and apologised to them for our failings and the lost opportunities to protect their daughter. West Yorkshire Police fully accepted the report’s findings and those of the IOPC investigation following Bethany’s appalling death.
‘All recommendations have been implemented and since 2019 the force has developed and amended its approach to domestic abuse in many ways.
‘Domestic abuse and harassment cases are reviewed daily in each of the force’s districts. Investigators are also trained to identify and review cases where repeated incidents are occurring to assess the increasing risk posed to victims by escalating behaviour.
‘This includes the requirement to consider threats to life assessments where appropriate. We are striving to make better use of operational intelligence to reduce perpetrator offending and are working closely with colleagues in mental health services to ensure all people receive appropriate mental health support, when it is needed most.
‘In 2023, the force also trained more than 3,000 members of staff to better understand how domestic abuse perpetrators seek to coerce and control their victims. We have continued with training programmes and continually review our own processes for those who report domestic abuse.
‘While we are committed to continual learning, we realise this won’t bring back Bethany, who lost her life in truly horrific circumstances.’
