SORRY, Shakespeare – music is not the food of love. Food is.

I’m three days into a voyage on Oceania Cruises’ Vista ship and I’m besotted with its cuisine, which is doing a very good job of living up to the company’s promise of being the finest at sea.

Matt Dutile Creative

Actually, I’m loving everything about this ship.

The decor veers from classy Art Deco in the Grand Dining Room to hand-cut mosaics in Italian eatery Toscana and lilypad-like loungers in the pool.

“It looks like they are floating,” the ship’s designer tells me.

I’m not convinced but they are certainly a lovely place to top up the tan.

In the atrium, a spectacular two-deck-high glass sculpture that changes colour looks like a shoal of fish swimming to the ceiling.

My cabin features a huge bathroom and super-sized shower, a private balcony and a bed so comfy, it is a struggle to get up each morning. It is not even the best in the house.

That honour goes to the Owners’ Suites. These span the width of the ship and are decked out by Ralph Lauren Home.

They have separate dining and living rooms and come with a butler, lots of free booze and first dibs on tables in the restaurants.

But food is the star of the show on Vista, which has one chef for every ten passengers — it holds 1,200 holidaymakers, . . .  so that is a lot of cooks!

And there are so many places to eat — a week is not long enough to try them all.

Best of all, they are free on the grounds that Oceania Cruises cannot promise the finest cuisine at sea and then charge for it.

I start my culinary journey in the Grand Dining Room, where the multi-course dinner menu changes daily and there are no set dining times or seating plans — just turn up and eat when you are ready.

There is no less a feast at the Terrace Café buffet.

This is my favourite spot for an al-fresco breakfast and it is even better for dinner, where serving stations groan under the weight of salads, seafood, steaks and stir-fries.

I head to the create-your-own pasta station and order spaghetti laced with garlic and chilli. Luckily I’m travelling solo!

That is just for starters, though. The next four days are a foodie feast as I do the rounds of the four speciality restaurants.

Matt Dutile Creative

Detox body wrap

In Polo Grill, a fancy restaurant with a clubby feel, I enjoy a 14oz ribeye steak.

And in Toscana, a posh Italian, I have eggplant rolls, white bean soup, homemade pasta and suckling pig.

Talk about guilty pleasures. So guilty that the next day I seek out the gym for all sorts of instruments of torture. And there are free yoga and fitness classes.

All good stuff, but give me the detox body wrap in the spa that promises wonders for the mind, body and soul any day.

Matt Dutile Creative

The healthy stuff ticked, it is time to undo the good work in Red Ginger, with chic red-and-black decor and a wall of glass lanterns that appear to float. At least that’s what the designer tells me.

He clearly has a thing about floating and who am I to argue?

The food is as gorgeous as the decor — gently spiced rather than blow-your-head-off hot — and beautifully served.

A fourth speciality restaurant, Ember (think upscale grill with fast service), is being replaced later this year by French fare at Jacques, a favourite on other Oceania ships for its Dover sole and scallop and watercress carpaccio.

Still hungry? You can indulge in burgers and pizzas in Waves, go (a bit) healthier in Aquamar, grab a Danish or two in the bakery in Baristas coffee shop and even learn to cook in the Culinary Centre.

There are lessons in everything from making risotto to dressing salads.

It costs extra, but you get to tuck into your culinary creation at the end.

After all, Oceania doesn’t want anyone on Vista to go hungry.

Not when they could be dining on the finest cuisine at sea.

TEMPLEGATE tackles another massive Saturday of action packed with Cheltenham Festival clues.

Back a horse by clicking their odds below.

APPLE AWAY (3.15 Haydock, nap)

Lucinda Russell’s mare looks a proper stayer who has been running well in Listed company. She has a really nice racing weight and was staying on at the end of three miles at Newbury last time.

PIC D’ORHY (3.37 Ascot, nb)

He must wish every race was run at Ascot because he’s hunting a fifth win at the King’s course. He has won on his past three visits and had almost six lengths in hand when taking this race 12 months ago. Only a prime Shishkin stopped him from winning this in 2023 and this ground with a little cut is right up his street.

VICTTORINO (3.00 Ascot, treble)

Venetia Williams’ hopeful has a good record over this course and distance with three wins from four attempts. The most recent of those successes came last time out when he jumped much better than usually and stayed on strongly. That built nicely on his Coral Hennessy third at Newbury and the handicapper has been fair with a 3lb rise.

Templegate’s TV verdicts

ASCOT

1.15

BLUE HOP took a leap forward stepping up to three miles at Doncaster last time.

He got the better of 16 rivals with something left in the tank and a 6lb rise in the weights looks fair enough.

He has few miles on the clock for his age and could easily improve again.

Hardy Fella enjoyed himself at Market Rasen last time, coming home strongly to score by more than five lengths.

This is a hotter contest but the booking of Harry Cobden takes the eye.

Jilaijone had 21 lengths in hand when scooting in at Uttoxeter and today’s rider takes off 5lb of the 8lb rise he’s copped for that smooth success.

Bective Abbey has been off for 10 months since a promising novice win at Warwick.

That was over 2m3f and he shapes as though this longer distance will be ideal.

Bertie B didn’t fire at Kelso last time but was on a great run before with a win at Plumpton in December.

He’s another with a claiming rider taking off valuable weight to bring him close to his last winning mark.

1.50

JINGKO BLUE got the better of Lowry’s Bar when they met at Windsor last month and can confirm the form despite giving his rival 5lb this time.

Nicky Henderson’s six-year-old has won both his spins over fences and there should be a fair bit more to come.

Lowry’s Bar clattered the third-last at Windsor and it would have been interesting had he not done that.

He earlier scored at Chepstow and Exeter and won’t be a pushover although the tip has more potential.

Peaky Boy has been making hay at Cheltenham where he landed a hat-trick of wins over hurdles and fences.

He left Nicky Henderson for Jonjo O’Neill after a solid third at Prestbury Park last time and can’t be dismissed.

The Changing Man went close in the Great Yorkshire Chase at Doncaster over this trip but he’s yet to win over fences.

2.25

CLASSIC KING has been raised a fair 5lb despite an impressive success at Doncaster last month.

He tanked along there and jockey Rex Dingle barely had to move. That was over this trip and a repeat would take him close.

Joyeux Machin caught the eye with a good third in a big field at Wetherby last time.

He is dangerous off this mark if backing that up for the Skeltons, which is far from certain with Cheltenham around the corner.
Altobelli was impressive when scoring over this course and distance last time.

A 5lb rise is fair for Harry Fry’s hope who could take another step forward.

Jour D’Evasion went from the front to score in a small field at Hereford latest.

Those tactics will be harder to pull off here.

Patriotik went close at Aintree last time and sees out this trip well. He’s sneaking up the weights but has place claims again.

3.00

VICTTORINO has a good record over this course and distance with three wins from four attempts.

The most recent of those successes came last time out when he jumped much better than usually and stayed on strongly.

That built nicely on his Coral Hennessy third at Newbury and the handicapper has been fair with a 3lb rise.

Hasthing has been enjoying himself at Windsor with back-to-back wins at the new jumps track.

He was always going within himself over 2m6f latest and should have no issue with this slightly longer distance.

This is just his fourth race over fences so there should be more to come.

Threeunderthrufive took this race 12 months ago and has run just twice since.

He returned from eight months off to chase home Victtorino here latest and can close the gap to less than the nine lengths it was last time.

Wiseguy got his act together returning to chases when winning at Newbury last time.

He’s been given a little break since then which is a plus as he goes well fresh.

Snipe is consistent and put in another decent effort at Doncaster last month.

3.37

PIC D’ORHY must wish every race was run at Ascot because he’s hunting a fifth win at the King’s course.

He has won on his past three visits and had almost six lengths in hand when taking this race 12 months ago.

Only a prime Shishkin stopped him from winning this in 2023 and this ground with a little cut is right up his street.

There’s some decent opposition about with L’Homme Presse heading here on the back of a Cotswold Chase victory at Cheltenham.

He was a well beaten second in this 12 months ago and a longer trip would be more to his liking.

That comment also applies to Corbetts Cross.

His last success was the 3m6f National Hunt Chase at the Cheltenham Festival and he came up short in the King George at Kempton last time.

Heavy ground brings out his best and he may not run unless there’s rain.

The others have a gap to bridge with Le Patron a Grade 1 winner over 2m as a novice but he was poor last time.

HAYDOCK

2.05

THE FLIER BEGLEY was a comfortable winner over Nocte Volatus at Market Rasen last month and a 4lb pull in the weights is unlikely to turn that around.

The tip was a close-up second over this course and distance two starts ago and gets on well with today’s rider.

Nocte Volatus could be the main danger again given his liking for this trip.

He rarely runs a bad race and should be right there again.

The Edgar Wallace was put in his place by both The Flier Begley and Nocte Volatus last time and needs a major step up for the in-form Kim Bailey yard.

Whistleinthedark was a decent second at Warwick last time when front-running suited. He takes on stiffer rivals today.

Eaton Collina has shown his best in deeper ground but has dropped to his last winning mark.

Any rain would boost his chances otherwise he has plenty on his plate.

2.40

NEMEAN LION is running as well as ever this season and was impressive when scoring at Windsor last time out.

He got the better of a useful rival in Salver there and looks well up to this level.

It’s late in his career to be trying a longer trip but he’ll be hard to stop if handling it.

Botox Has took this 12 months ago and ran his best race when third in the Cleeve Hurdle last time.

He is proven over the three miles and looks a danger for the Moores.

Beauport was beaten just over a length in the Grade 1 Long Walk at Ascot in late December.

He was in front jumping the last and was just collared late on.

There’s a chance he’ll get a soft lead again which makes him dangerous.

Sounds Russian relished the drop to Listed level when scooting in at Perth last time.

That was a decent run and he stays well but this is stiffer opposition.

He’s back from 10 months off so is entitled to need this run.

Indiana Dream has been chasing and this is his hurdles debut and first run for Jonjo O’Neill since leaving Willie Mullins.

He’s useful over the bigger obstacles so watch the betting.

Templegate’s tips

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A BUILDER has been raving over his “best cuppa ever” and it came from Dempsey and Makepeace star Michael Brandon.

The American star, 79, famed for his relationship with the UK, recently helped a family member move into a new home.

He asked a tradesman to put up some flash curtains at the gaff in well-heeled Hampstead, North London.

Mark Edwards, 51, instantly recognised Michael from the 80s crime drama about a New York cop in Britain.

He said: “It was a straightforward job – I had to put up some curtains and there was a lot of fuss over them.

“I took Michael’s offer up for a cup of tea and I couldn’t believe it – it was the best cuppa I’ve ever had.

“As you can imagine, I’ve had thousands and thousands of cups. I pride myself on my tea making ability.

“But this tea was great. To be honest I was slightly unsure knowing he’s an American. And it was lovely.

“He got exactly the right amount of sugar that I like in the cup. I like two tablespoons and he got it bang on.

“The best thing was he made as many cups as I wanted. I was there for two days and I never had to ask.

“I didn’t need to remind him either. It was top notch.”

Dad-of-one Mark, of Greenford, West London, says Michael was coy about his role when asked at the flat.

But when he finished the job, he said the star told him: “It’s Dempsey and Makepeace.”

Michael married his co-star Glynis Barber, 69, who played a British detective in the TV cult classic.

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A builder has been raving over his ‘best cuppa ever’ and it came from Dempsey and Makepeace star Michael Brandon[/caption]

AN ICONIC retro Mercedes which is one of just two ever made could be yours for £1.3 million.

The 1961 Mercedes-Benz 300 SL Roadster had been earmarked for use by the company’s exhibition department until 1963.

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This 1961 Mercedes-Benz 300 SL Roadster is expected to sell for up to £1.3 million at auction later this month[/caption]

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The classic car comes with a black leather interior and was fully restored by specialists in 2015[/caption]

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It’s powered by its original 3.0L engine[/caption]

One of just two recorded Fantasy Yellow Roadsters used by the German automaker, the sleek motor underwent an “excellent and well-preserved” complete restoration in 2015.

Now, the beautiful convertible, finished with a black leather interior, is up for auction.

The iconic car retains its numbers-matching body, chassis, 3.0L engine, and gearbox, and has an intriguing history.

It was among the last “big-drum brake” Roadsters produced, and was later upgraded with colour-matching Rudge wheels.

This special 300 SL Roadster was also fitted with unique features for its exhibition role, including a 3.64 rear axle and English instrumentation.

Pictures show the classic finish inside the convertible, with its large dials and long gear stick.

The beautiful motor is set to go on auction with RM Sotheby’s on 28 February in Miami, Florida.

Its listing reads: “Over the years, this Roadster passed through a series of owners, including David Jackson and Dr. R.L. Dunworth, before being sold to Jack Hahn, who kept it for nearly 40 years.

“In 2013, it was acquired by Jim Gusweiler and eventually restored by Legendary Classic Center in Costa Mesa, California.

“The restoration, which included refinishing the car in its original Fantasy Yellow, rebuilding the engine, and fitting a new wiring harness, was completed to the highest standard.”

The listing continues: “Accompanied by the factory data card, a matching luggage set, tools, manuals, and hundreds of restoration images, this exceptional 300 SL Roadster is a true collector’s gem and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for car enthusiasts.”

The motor will go on sale as part of Sotheby’s late February auction in the US.

Described as “the ultimate luxury event on America’s East Coast”, the two-day auction from 27-28 February will feature a range of “ultimate blue-chip collectables”.

Another ultra-rare classic motor is also set to make its appearance at the sale.

The powerful and spectacular 1966 Ferrari 330 GTS convertible with an enormous V12 engine is set to sell for around £1.4 million.

An open version of the popular 330 GTC coupe, the classic motor is one of just 100 examples ever produced.

The sleek coupe, finished in Rosso Corsa, comes with with Borrani wire wheels and a luxury Nero Franzi leather-trimmed interior.

Inside, there is a wood panel dashboard as well as a wooden steering wheel adorned with the famous prancing horse logo in its centre.

Powering the motor is a 4.0L V-12 engine that produces an estimated 300bhp at 7,000rpm.

The Ferrari can go from 0-60mph in just 6.0 seconds and can reach a top speed of up to 150mph.

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The motor will go to auction with RM Sotheby’s in Miami on February 28[/caption]

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It is among one of the last Roadsters to come with larger drum brakes[/caption]

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The convertible is expected to attract between $1.4 million and $1.7 million at auction (£1.11 – £1.35 million)[/caption]

Troubled Thames Water has launched an appeal against regulator Ofwat’s price cap, as it says hiking bills by a third over the next five years is not enough.

Ofwat denied Thames’ request for a 53 per cent rise in December, limiting the potential rises to 35 per cent — about an extra £152 per household.

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Thames Water is appealing Ofwat’s price cap, claiming a 35% bill hike isn’t enough[/caption]

But Thames has now appealed against that to the Competition and Markets Authority.

Insiders say the process could take between six and 12 months, while Ofwat launches a fresh review of Thames Water’s broken environmental promises. Thames says the appeal will not affect bills this year.

The news provoked outrage among campaigners, who argue the firm has let customers shoulder the cost after it paid out hundreds of millions in dividends to shareholders and executives while also going deep into debt.

Mike Keil, of the Consumer Council for Water, said: “This is a company which has a poor track record on service delivery and customer complaints, so people will rightly question why it should be trusted with even more of bill-payers’ money.”

Thames Water, which is still fending off the threat of temporary renationalisation, will hear early next week whether a court will approve a £3billion lifeline from bondholders.

West At Best

Natwest yesterday posted slightly better than expected operating pre-tax profits of £6.2billion for 2024.

It is a 0.3 per cent rise from 2023, thanks to low customer default rates and more mortgage lending.

Bank CEO Paul Thwaite expects a “forward-looking chapter” ahead of a Government stake sell-off.

Being Milked

Parents are being ripped off by up to £300 a year on baby formula prices, say competition watchdogs.

The CMA urged the removal of branded formulas in hospitals, and the scrapping of bans on using customer loyalty schemes for milk.

Baby milk prices have risen an average 22 per cent in two years.

Good Week

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Heineken boss Dolf van den Brink, who toasted a cider revival and beer volume growth, triggering a shares leap of 12 per cent.

Bad Week

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Gavin Isaacs lasted just 163 days as CEO at betting giant Entain.[/caption]

Gavin Isaacs, the FTSE 100’s shortest-serving CEO in history. He lasted just 163 days at betting giant Entain.

KATE Cassidy has paid tribute to her boyfriend Liam Payne on the first Valentine’s Day since his death.

The 25-year-old shared a gift from her best friend of a photo frame filled with a montage of pics of Kate and Liam.

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Liam Payne died in October aged 31[/caption]

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Kate showed a present she’d received in tribute to Liam on Valentine’s Day[/caption]

It had the number ‘444’ written in the middle above the initials LP heart KC.

She wrote: “Couldn’t ask for a better best friend.

“This Valentine’s gift is so special.”

Kate was holding the present in front of red roses on the mantel piece.

She is spending her first Valentine’s Day without Liam following his tragic death in October.

The couple had been together for two years before the One Direction star fell to his death at a hotel in Argentina.

Kate spoke about his death for the first time in an interview with The Sun last week.

Fighting back tears, she spoke to her followers to thank them for their reaction to the story.

She said: “I’m not the only one grieving right now, I know he impacted so many of you guys and he really did love his fans.

“I just wanted to come on here and say thank you so much for all the kind words once again that have been sent my way because it does not go unnoticed or unseen.

“As I navigate this next chapter of my life without Liam, it’s just, I don’t even know what to say. It’s really kind seeing the support and love that has been sent my way.

“Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Since Liam’s tragic passing, the hotel’s manager, a receptionist and Liam’s friend, Roger Nores, have since been charged with manslaughter.

A waiter and another hotel worker face drugs charges.

INMATES at Britain’s most notorious prison had chips taken off the menu because they couldn’t be trusted to cook with the deep-fat fryers.

Lags at HMP Wakefield in Yorkshire – nicknamed ‘Monster Mansion’ – were restricted to scoffing the carb-heavy side dish only once a week, sparking a fierce backlash.

Alamy

Jail bosses made the controversial decision after six fryers broke or were smashed up by crooks working in the kitchen.

In one case, a prisoner was reprimanded by bosses for turning the fryer up beyond its maximum level.

It sparked a minor kitchen fire which was put out “extremely quickly” by guards, preventing a more serious blaze.

Details of the lags’ kitchen nightmares were revealed in an independent monitoring board report released earlier this month.

Inspectors said 46 inmates worked in the kitchen, but noted: “There has been a higher-than-average turnover of the prison workforce this year, mainly due to poor prisoner behaviour.

“This impacted the food offering provided by the kitchen; the cooking of chips was particularly problematic, much to the frustration of prisoners and staff alike.”

Lags made 84 complaints about the quality or availability of food though inspectors found it handled most day-to-day problems well.

Wakefield holds 300 crooks serving a life sentence and a slew of rapists, killers and vulnerable prisoners.

UNDER-fire comic Russell Brand has shut down his addiction and mental health support charity, it emerged yesterday.

The Charity Commission said it was told in September that the Stay Free Foundation “no longer operates”.

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It was removed from the register of charities officially last month.

Financial records show it had a total income of £126,130 as of June 2023 and £52,353 expenditure.

Brand has been outspoken in his memoirs and comedy shows about being rehabilitated from heroin addiction in 2003.

It comes after four women accused Brand, 49, of sexual assault between 2006 and 2013.

Brand vehemently denies the allegations and said all of his relationships have been “consensual”.

After a Channel 4 Dispatches exposé in 2023, several charities cut ties with Brand and the foundation.

Last month, the BBC apologised for a “culture of silence” about his behaviour.

Brand has since moved to the US with wife Laura and their children.

THE forthcoming MAFS reunion is set to explode as one of the show’s brides will drop a huge ‘cheating’ bombshell.

In less than two weeks, E4 viewers will get a brand new update on the progress on some of their favourite personalities of the show.

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Erica Roberts is set to make a dramatic comeback to MAFS[/caption]

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She will tell Sacha that Ross was messaging her[/caption]

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This was despite the fact that the duo were still together[/caption]

We previously reported that Erica Roberts, 26, will return to the hit Channel 4 reality series.

She is set make a comeback with a bombshell secret and is set to reveal that Kieran Chapman was messaging her.

However, we can now reveal that the star is set to drop a second huge bombshell on the group.

Erica will tell Sacha that Ross was also sending her messages while the pair were still together.

This was despite the fact that Erica was not on the same series as Sacha and Ross.

She was known for her high-profile relationship a year beforehand with Jordan.

Together, they took part in the eighth series of Married At First Sight in 2023, but their relationship did not last.

Sacha will be left completely stunned by what she hears as the new revelations are set to cause fresh drama.

Meanwhile, Ross will not appear on the brand new episode of the hit social experiment.

Although he will not be present to give his side of the story, a show source told us the show will still be explosive viewing.

During the upcoming show, the brides and grooms will come together for the first time since leaving the experiment.

Together, they will share their thoughts on what went down during their time on the show.

But the Honesty Box will also make a dramatic return too, so there’s bound to be many tantrums and tears.

Alongside Erica, Sacha and Ross, the returning faces include Adam Nightingale, Amy Kenyon, Ella Morgan (series 3), Hannah Norburn, Holly Ditchfield, Kieran Chapman and Kristina Goodsell.

The list also includes Matt Pilmoor (series 3), Nathan, Orson Nurse, Paul Liba (series 3), Shona Manderson (series 3), Sionnain Carmichael and Tasha Jay (series 3).

Faces who are set to miss the reunion also include Polly Sellman, Luke Debono, and Richelle Cade.

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Erica was known for her tumultuous romance with Jordan in the 2023 instalment of the show[/caption]

Your first look at the aftermath.