The daughter of Captain Sir Tom Moore has revealed his final moments with his family and how misinformation after his death was ‘like a knife twisting into the heart of my grief.’
Hannah Ingram-Moore has revealed her dad’s final moments in hospital and how she struggled to cope with the record-breaking fundraiser’s death amid the glare of publicity his life attracted.
In her new book she also claims that she was ‘cast as the villain’, and even while the centenarian was alive, ‘there had been an underbelly of those who said I was pulling all the strings to make my father walk to raise money.’
Grief: Public Face Private Loss has been released on Amazon five months after a highly critical Charity Commission investigation into the family’s handling of a charity set up in Captain Tom’s name.
The watchdog found that a previous title in the World War Veteran’s name attracted an advance of £1.4 million, with none of the proceeds going to a charity honouring his work.
The report concluded that the ‘public would understandably feel misled’ to learn that sales of ‘Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day’ did not benefit the charity despite a statement indicating the contrary.
The entrepreneur has gone on the defensive and appeared in TV interviews giving her side of the story, including on Good Morning Britain.
The new book makes no direct mention of the controversy, instead focusing on Ingram-Moore’s ‘personal journey through loss.’
Here are five takeaways:
Dad’s final moments in hospital
Ms Ingram-Moore describes how her dad lay in a quiet hospital room with his eyes closed peacefully.
After she read out a list of people he might want to talk to, he replied: ‘No, just you and the children.’
Ms Ingram-Moore describes her dad’s ‘shallow breaths, a stark reminder of the profound loss that was unfolding.’
She goes on to describe her personal trauma and grief as well as how the family had to work out what to tell the world.
Captain Tom died on February 2, 2021, after losing his fight with pneumonia and Covid in Bedford Hospital.
Ms Ingram-Moore says that ‘together, we will explore how to transform heartbreak into hope.’
‘Dignity and honour’ at funeral
Ms Ingram-Moore describes Captain Tom’s funeral, including the ‘surreal and deeply moving’ journey to the crematorium.
One poignant moment was when a bugler from her dad’s Yorkshire Regiment played the Last Post at the ceremony in Bedford.
She says: ‘Its solemn strains encapsulated the dignity and honour of my father’s life, from his wartime service to the remarkable final year that had inspired millions around the world.’
How she was ‘cast as the villain’
Ms Ingram-Moore writes: ‘Somehow, as my father became a beacon of hope to the world, I, his daughter, was cast as the villain.
‘From the very outset of the world record-breaking fundraising, there had been an underbelly of those who said I was pulling all the strings to make my father walk to raise money.
‘Still, those accusations that we hid from my father reared their ugly head with full force once he had died.’
Ms Ingram-Moore has previously described the hurt she felt at misinformation and trolling on social media, and in her book she also identifies mainstream media coverage as a ‘darker undercurrent’ to her grief.
She says: ‘The spread of misinformation and public speculation about why my father had died was so profoundly hurtful that it was like a knife twisting into the heart of my grief.’
Mum’s ‘long goodbye’
Ms Ingram-Moore also shares how he lost her mum, who she does not name, due to degenerative brain disease.
She describes this as ‘devastating, a slow and excruciating loss of the loving and kind woman she once was.’
Ms Ingram-Moore describes how saying goodbye ‘over such an extended period has its unique kind of pain’
But she goes on to say that moments like holding her mum’s hand ‘became acts of love that kept her spirits alive in our hearts.’
The healing process
Ms Ingram-Moore confronts her grief and trauma with themes of hope and healing throughout her new book.
She says she discovered ‘self-compassion’ and that ‘forgiveness wasn’t just about others; it was about letting myself off the hook for not being perfect.’
One example she draws on is how she had been in a care home during her mum’s final days and when she died, she was called first to share the news.
Ms Ingram-Moore writes that she had wanted to be the one to share the news with her father, ‘to shield him from the initial shock’
But her mobile phone was out of range and she missed the call, so by the time she found out, the home had already informed him.
‘I was devastated, feeling as though I had failed him in that critical moment,’ she says. ‘The weight of that regret stays with me, gnawing at the edges of my heart.’
The book then continues along the theme of healing and turning grief, trauma and negative feelings into a healthy, fulfilling life.
Ms Ingram-Moore writes that she finds ‘comfort in the little moments’ that connect her family to her dad.
They include ‘smiling as my son drinks from Granddad’s favourite mug or watching my daughter find stillness in his beloved chair.’
Background
The new book comes after the watchdog’s report which found that the author and husband Colin Ingram-Moore had made ‘repeated failures’ at the helm of the Captain Tom Foundation.
Among the failings identified by the commission was a misleading implication that donations from book sales would be made to the charity. An advance of just over £1.4 million was paid to Club Nook, where the Ingram-Moores are directors, for a three-book deal and none went to the foundation, the regulator said.
Only £18,000 – £1 a copy from sales of the first book – went to the charity, while the Ingram-Moores kept around £800,000 for themselves.
In a TV interview, Ms Ingram-Moore claimed her father wanted his family to keep the profits from the books Captain Tom’s Life Lessons, One Hundred Steps and Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day and insisted readers were never told the money would go to charity.
Ms Ingram-Moore told Piers Morgan the books were ‘never anything to do with charity’, and said: ‘They were Captain Tom’s books and his wishes were that that money would sit in Club Nook.’
Ms Ingram-Moore and her husband Colin Ingram-Moore have also branded the inquiry ‘unjust and excessive’ and insisted they ‘never took a penny’ from public donations.
The foundation was set up to spread the generosity shown by the veteran among a wide range of good causes.
He raised £38.9 million for NHS Charities Together, a separate charity, by walking 100 laps of his garden in Marston Moretaine, Bedfordshire, for his 100th birthday in 2020.
The millions donated to NHS Charities Together before the foundation was formed were not part of the commission’s inquiry.
The Ingram-Moores have insisted that there has never been any impropriety in the way they have continued his goodwill.
Responding to the commission’s report, they said: ‘True accountability demands transparency, not selective storytelling. We remain dedicated to upholding Captain Sir Tom’s legacy and want the public to know, that there has never been any misappropriation of funds or unauthorised payments from the charity’s bank account, by any member of our family.’
The Captain Tom Foundation is currently being wound down.
MORE: Captain Tom’s daughter puts home on the market for £2,250,000 (spa not included)
MORE: Gifts donated by Captain Tom fans appear in marketing images for his family home
MORE: Five key findings from damning report into Captain Tom Moore charity
