I thought it was job interview – until he handed me a rose

When Steve* slid into my DMs back in 2008, I thought it was the answer to my prayers.

I was newly graduated and looking for some temp work to fund a gap year, but so far, my job hunt hadn’t been going great. That’s why I decided to post about it on Facebook – I was certain that one of my many student connections would come up trumps. 

Of all the friends I had, though, Steve was the last person I expected to reach out.

We’d been engaged once upon a time – admittedly, we were eight, so it wasn’t so much a formal proposal as scribblings in each other’s workbooks about how we were going to get married when we were older and have six children.

The closest we came to ‘romance’ was when Steve (who was the best at drawing in our class) sketched a picture of me in a white dress, while he himself was dressed as Spider-Man. 

However, once I remembered that girls rule and boys have the lurgy, our engagement broke down and we eventually drifted apart when we went to different secondary schools.

I didn’t hear anything from him again until I was at university and he randomly added me on Facebook. But even then, I’d forgotten all about our former bond and could only recall him as ‘Steve the nose picker’ – hence my surprise when I read his message.

‘Hey, saw your post! I own my own business now and I’m looking for someone to help out with some projects. Do you want to meet for a coffee?’ he wrote.

Given the position I was in, I wasn’t about to turn him down flat. I replied that I was keen and we chatted a bit more online. To my surprise, and despite not having spoken since we were about 11, conversation flowed effortlessly.

Steve told me that he’d gone straight to work rather than university like myself and that he was now a successful businessman running a marketing firm. We discussed my hopes and plans for the future and eventually agreed to meet at a local coffee shop the following week.

For the next few days I focused all my energy on re-doing my CV and picking out the perfect business-casual outfit. I knew it was just a chat over coffee but I wanted to be prepared for my best job lead to date.

When the day arrived, I was pleased to see that Steve was already there. I noticed how tall he’d grown, and with his newly shaven head, looked very different from the curtains-wearing little boy I’d known. 

He’d chosen an out-of-the-way table, presumably so that it would be quiet enough to talk. However, it was when he stood up to greet me that our communication first went awry.

I went in for a handshake, but he decided to hug me hello, which resulted in me awkwardly jabbing him in the ribs with my extended hand. 

Then, as I went to hand him my CV, he in turn handed me a single red rose.

I froze. 

Maybe he’d found it on the floor on the way to the café? Maybe it was already on the table?

Perhaps, I reasoned, it was a quirky way to welcome new office temps, a symbol of how we’d all… grow together? I had so little experience in the job market that maybe, I told myself, this was normal.

Steve didn’t seem to notice my confusion, however. He launched straight into small-talk, asking whether I still lived nearby and if I remembered our old teachers and classmates.

Assuming this was just some pre-interview chat before we got into the nitty gritty of the job I laughed along and even showed him the scar on my arm where he’d once stabbed me with a pencil. 

An hour later, with Steve still chatting away, I started to think this meeting wasn’t about work at all. What with the hug and the rose, I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. 

I discreetly tried to steer the conversation in a more formal direction. ‘So…’ I began, glancing at my CV, which was currently being used as a coaster. ‘Tell me more about this job!’

Steve just laughed. ‘Oh yeah, you can send your CV to HR. Anyway, are you seeing anyone?’

I was mortified. Clearly, what I’d read as an invitation to talk about my suitability for a job role, he’d meant as a preamble to a date! 

A million thoughts raced through my mind: 

Why had he let me talk about my CV if he thought this was a date? 

Did he do this on purpose or did he think that I was a massive weirdo? 

Was he a massive weirdo?’

That was the point I made a polite excuse about needing the toilet – I had to get out of there. So, naturally, I did the only thing I could think of, which was to run out the backdoor.

It was hardly professional, but then again, neither is luring someone to a coffee shop for an interview when you have completely different intentions. 

Whether it was a genuine misunderstanding or a poorly executed attempt to get romantic, I’ll never know because I swiftly blocked and unfriended Steve as soon as I got home. 

Poor old Steve-the-nose-picker. 

*Names have been changed

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